Category: Journal

  • When Delusion Becomes Self-Belief

    When Delusion Becomes Self-Belief

    When we signed up for RUN Pondo (we love its new name!), we called ourselves Running on Delusion because, frankly, believing we could run 103km over three days felt a little ridiculous.

    We laughed about it. We made jokes about our questionable decision-making skills. And somewhere underneath all that humour was a fair amount of genuine self-doubt.

    But something has started to shift.

    We’ve been showing up, week after week. Running when it’s hard, building strength, learning what our bodies are capable of, and slowly doing things that once felt beyond us. Not every session has been brilliant, and we’re still a long way from being ready for Pondo. But we’re no longer looking at the challenge quite the same way.

    There’s a difference between hoping you can do something and beginning to trust yourself to do it. We’re starting to feel that difference.

    And what is so amazing is that it hasn’t come from one extraordinary moment. It’s come from all the ordinary ones. The early mornings, the strength sessions, the difficult kilometres and the decision to keep going when the initial excitement wore off.

    We started this journey slightly terrified of what we’d signed up for. We’re still nervous, but now something new sits alongside the nerves. Belief. Maybe that’s what happens when you give your delusions enough time, effort, and consistency.

    They stop feeling quite so delusional. ❤️

  • Turns Out, the Boring Bit Is the Important Bit

    When we signed up to run THE PONDO, I think we imagined the training would involve a lot of dramatic trail runs. Sunrises, mountains, beautiful views, and the two of us looking suspiciously athletic while effortlessly bounding along the coastline.

    Hopefully, there will be some of that. Right now, however, there is a lot of groundwork.

    We’re still months away from THE PONDO, and I think we’ve reached the part of training that probably won’t feature heavily in the eventual montage. We’re working on strength, mobility and deep core fitness, alongside a lot of fairly unremarkable running. None of it feels particularly epic, but we’re starting to understand just how much of getting ready for 103km has very little to do with being able to run a long way.

    It turns out you need a body capable of holding itself together while you do it.

    There’s also been a surprising amount of admin around gear. We’re reaching the point where we actually have to test the things. And that means buying the things, as we don’t live in a part of the country where we can pop to the stores and look at the items in person.

    Something can be highly recommended, expensive, and objectively excellent and still not work for your body. Shorts that seem perfect for 5km can become deeply offensive several hours later. Thank goodness ChatGPT has been by our side giving us its opinion on EVERYTHING!!! Hydration Packs have been purchased and returned. Shoes have arrived and need testing. Apparently socks are now something we have opinions about.

    The biggest challenge lately, though, has been fitting all of this into normal life. We’re in the midst of school holidays; we’re often away from home; work still exists; and children remain strangely unwilling to structure their lives around our training programmes.

    When you look at a training plan on paper, everything feels very manageable. There are seven days in a week, you put the sessions into the appropriate boxes, and voilà: future ultra runners. In reality, those boxes have to compete with school, work, travel, family plans, and all the other things that were already taking up the week before we decided running would be a fun addition.

    I think I assumed that, at some point, training would become the routine and everything else would settle around it. Instead, we’re learning that the real skill is probably getting the training done while everything else stays mildly chaotic.

    It’s easy to think the important work will happen later, when the distances get bigger, and we’re spending hours on trails preparing our legs for the Wild Coast. But what we’re doing now is building the body that will eventually be able to handle those days, while also figuring out how this fits into our lives for the next eight months.

    There’s something reassuring about that. We don’t need every week to be spectacular. We don’t need every run to prove that we’re getting fitter. We just need to keep doing the work, including the boring bits, and trust that all these fairly ordinary sessions are quietly adding up to something.

    When we started this whole thing, one of the questions we wanted to answer was what happens when you stop waiting to feel ready and start anyway.

    I’m beginning to think that applies to the training too. You don’t wait for life to make room for something like this. You start, and then you slowly figure out how to make room for it.

    So here we are.// Two months in, still delusional, just with slightly better core strength.

  • Week 1

    Week 1… technically in the bag.

    It did not exactly go to plan.

    Katy and I started really strong last week, with Pilates, gym, and all the enthusiasm of two women who had just committed themselves to running 103km.

    And then the bugs hit.

    Both of us spent most of last week under the covers, so today feels much more like the real beginning of this journey.

    This challenge hits on quite a few vulnerabilities for me. I shared some of those thoughts on my personal blog, but probably the biggest one is body image.

    I’ve had a long and complicated relationship with my body and with food. And right now, my body isn’t where I want it to be.

    I don’t want to pretend that changing how my body looks isn’t part of this. It is. I’m excited to get stronger, build muscle, and hopefully lose some body fat along the way.

    But there’s something else I’m far more excited about.

    I want to see what this body can do.

    When I had my babies, I remember being completely in awe of my body. I couldn’t believe what it was capable of. Somewhere over the years, I lost that feeling. My body became something I judged far more often than something I appreciated.

    I would really like to change that.

    Over the next few months, I’m going to ask an enormous amount of this body. I’m going to ask it to get stronger. To climb hills. To run when it’s tired. To recover and go again. And eventually, I’m going to ask it to carry me 103kms.

    That’s pretty bloody incredible when you think about it.

    So today, as we officially “begin”, I hopped on the scale to see where I’m starting from. I also took the obligatory start photos, but absolutely nobody is seeing those yet. 🤭

    I’m planning to check in every Monday and track how things change over the coming months. I’m less interested in the number on the scale and much more interested in things like muscle and body fat, but even those numbers aren’t really the goal.

    They’re just the starting point.

    The real measure of progress will be what this body becomes capable of.


    1 August 2026

    Weight (kg)88.4
    BMI29.9
    Body Fat %33.3
    Skeletal Muscle %37.8
    Visceral Fat12
    Muscle Mass (kg)55

    With love,
    Kim.